The War Rages On…

I refuse to buy the lies Satan is selling…trying to keep me focused on the circumstances instead of God. The circumstances are VERY painful, but our God is so much bigger. Pray for me, pray for my family. I still pray this prayer.

A powerful story of hope worth watching can be found here…The Scruggs

This week was my sixteenth wedding anniversary. I let the circumstances mess with my head.  The kids have and continue to be sick and I am exhausted.  As challenging as this week has been (which is why I have not posted in awhile) God has lovingly reminded me He will take care of us and strengthen me during this lonely dark trial. I can lean on Him.  This week family, friends and even strangers have been open to His promptings and have allowed my family to be blessed by Him through them. Thank you God. Thank you cherished people who have reached out with support, encouragement, comfort and prayer.   How could I not believe?  How could I not continue to stand while embraced with such love?

I paid lip service to spiritual battle much of my life, even when I was not a practicing catholic I believed there was a spiritual war going on.  My family is under attack. We didn’t understand how important it is to pray and examine our weakness and to deal with conflict.  Fact is both of us avoided conflict at all costs.  It is a high price to pay in the end.  We opened ourselves up to satan’s lies and the world’s empty promises.  I am taking a crash course on warfare. I am making many mistakes and losing battles.  I am learning a lot!  God is good.  My defeats, my brokenness, my thick skull stupidity is all being remolded and transformed with every loss.

Fortunately for my family, I am just a grunt.  When I remember to keep my place and hold my tongue God sends His messengers with orders.  My need to have an illusion of being in control of my life keeps getting in the way.  My place in the chain of command is a constant struggle and not knowing the full battle plan can be unnerving.  Often I am left  in the position my marine husband use to quote as, “Hurry up and wait.”

The war rages on…

This is much bigger then one man and one woman. Anyone who has experienced divorce (though many try and deny this truth) knows how profoundly it affects children, extended family and friends. Thank you for joining me in this battle. There are so many hurting families. This coming advent please consider the importance of family as you reflect on the Holy Family. Please pray for families to find the courage and forgiveness to open themselves us to reconciliation as a gift to their children, spouses and selves.

I am clinging to His cross knowing if I let go or even loosen my grip I’ll easily be sucked into the world’s lies of what love is. “I believe, help my unbelief!”

I miss my husband very much. My kids miss their dad. Please pray we learn whatever it is we need to soon, so we can be a family again.

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