Searching for Baby Jesus

littlepeoplejesus1We have the greatest nativity for children.  It is a Fischer Price Little People set and the children play year round with the figures.  We had a late start to decorating this year. Three days ago after the ten millionth, “When are we going to decorate?” I promised as soon as the kids picked up their rooms we would begin decorating. In order to make room for the tree, all of the Little People were packed into a trunk and put in the boys’ room till after Christmas. When everything was tidy (I use that word lightly), Lucas and I went through the trunk and removed all the Nativity items. To my annoyance an angel and baby Jesus were missing.

We began our search for baby Jesus and soon all children were involved in our quest. We checked Church bags, couch cushions, the shoe bin, purses, the baby’s toy box, behind books on the shelves, in the doll house, in the play kitchen and Jesus was no where to be found. Before I go on, in my defense I must mention we have all been sick with a virus and I have not been getting much sleep. Now fully frustrated and the sun having already set I announce to very sad children that we can not celebrate and decorate without baby Jesus. Until baby Jesus was found we were not taking anything out.

Early the next morning, I was greeted by decorating nag ten million and one. I crawled out of bed assigned locations to each child and the search began again. By lunch time I was starting to lose hair and the younger children lost interest and began to mess up our once “tidy” home. We had to end our search to take the younger children to the doctor and by the time we dropped of dad thirty minutes away at work, went to our appointment an hour and twenty minutes in the opposite direction, purchased antibiotics with a long wait time, feed the kids dinner at Aunt Susie’s (conveniently located between our home and the doctor), picked up dad and returned home it was almost midnight.

One would think the search was over, at least till the next day, but no I was obsessed. I needed Jesus to find rest. I decided to check the boy’s room myself. It was not a pretty sight. For sometime now my boys have been shoving and stuffing instead of cleaning. I discovered my eldest son is a serious pack rat. Clothing was in toy bins and desk drawers. The dresser housed everything but clothing. Under pillows even more knickknacks were stashed. I decided to dump their stuffed animal bin (the easiest thing to clean out in the closet) There on the bottom was the missing angel. I replaced the stuffed animals and put the other items found where they belonged. This one bucket took thirty minutes to sort. Convinced baby Jesus must be somewhere stuffed in the wrong place and determined the boys must clean out everything themselves. I crawled into bed and thinking of all the possible places we might have overlooked fell asleep. Well before the sun came up I awoke to children screaming. “Mom found the angel”! “I bet she is hiding baby Jesus until Christmas”. “Yahoo, we can decorate now!” Please remember I am not always a monster, but I had no sleep and the sun was not yet shining. I roared from bed, “Baby Jesus has not been found”!  One brave soul quietly asked from the other room, “Can we decorate anyway?”

Remembering that this was after all baby Jesus we were looking for, children were given breakfast before I started dumping drawers for kids to sort and clean. The younger girls helped with laundry and keeping Joanna entertained (build forts with the piles of clean clothes mom already folded so Joanna can crawl over them and “attack” you) while Amelia and I went thru all of the girls’ drawers and toy bins. The boys complained, procrastinated, tried blaming each other; but eight hours, six bins, six dresser drawers, one night stand, and seven desk drawers later their room was almost spotless. I say almost spotless because in a moment of rare sanity, realizing I had serious Jesus finding issues, I let Lucas use three desk drawers to put all his papers, scraps of paper and torn magazines in and let the clutter on the dresser top remain until after Christmas”.

Earlier in the day when Amelia and I were searching dad’s office for Jesus we joked around that the house was so messy Jesus was hiding until we cleaned it. The thought lightened the mood in the house and we shared our theory with the other kids.

As Lucas and I finished the last dumped drawer of items most of the other children watched a movie. Sarah joined us in the boys’ room and wanted to “help”. She was not very discriminating about where she was putting stuff so we gave her the task of again searching the little people trunk for baby Jesus. After removing several items she joyfully shouts she found baby Jesus! Lucas jumped up and went to see. Sarah laughed a naughty laugh. Yes, at the innocent age of three by only a few days, my daughter knows how to tease! No baby Jesus.

We were finally down to a shoe box worth of items when Sarah again turned to us and said she found Jesus. Having heard her cry wolf before, we didn’t believe her. I asked her to show me and she said, “It to hard for me I can’t” (translation: “I don’t want to”). Convinced of her dishonesty we shrugged our shoulders and returned to our work. I sighed defeated and told Lucas when he was done we could start to decorate without baby Jesus. As this scene unfolded Amelia walked into the room spotted what Sarah had seen in the trunk and with a joyous triumphant voice shouted, “BABY JESUS”!

How My Husband Says I Love You

Being happy at hearing your eighth child is coming even though you are stressed and broke.

Working all day on your feet and coming home and rubbing your wife’s feet and not asking for anything in return.

Feeding your wife’s many animals after dark when you really just want to veg in front of the computer.

Hot tea every morning in bed without ever having to be asked.

Never complaining about eating the same thing all the time even though it is tasteless.

Always saying sorry first, even when you were not wrong.

Joy at the idea of a spur of the moment tubing trip down the river with all the kids 🙂

Working a second job so you wife can stay home with the children and have more financial peace.

Not liking to lead groups of children and still happily volunteering to be scout leader for your sons.

Leading your family in their faith even when it feels awkward and unfamiliar.

Taking the garbage to the dump (yes we have to transport to the dump ourselves)

Being unbelievably patient and kind during your wife’s hormonal breakdowns.

Watching all the children at a moments notice so your wife can go alone to walmart and spend all your money. 🙂

Making your wife feel beautiful even when her hair is unbrushed, her t’shirt is covered in who-knows-what, and she has been wearing the same skirt for two days.

Driving to town to pick up whatever weird craving you wife has.

Not complaining when the house gets messy or the kids are making to much noise while you try to work.

…and so many more. Thank you my Sunshine!

Aunt Sussie and Lubbers

lubber1

All my children have gone through a phase where they idealize my sister as the coolest person on the planet. This past summer my fifth child (Jane, 4yrs) had her turn. Sussette took Jane tubing (well, floating with a life jacket and noodle) down the river. Aunt Sussie also helped Janie with her bug fear by “giving” her a lubber (looks like a giant grasshopper) to play with at Troy Springs. Tragedy occured on the lubber day! While leaving the park Jane began to cry hysterically. She turned from from the front of the group and came to the back of the line where I was. After a few minutes of breathing “so mommy can understand you”, Jane sobbed, “I hate dose fire ants. I hate dem!” I asked her if ants bit her while frantically searching her body to exterminate the little demons that would dare hurt my baby. “Nooooooo, they killed my lubber! The lubber Aunt Shusie gave me.” As it turns out, on the path ahead of us there was a dead lubber being eaten by fire ants. We reasured her that was not her lubber because hers was healthy and wouldn’t let ants get him. She felt better, but said she still hates fire ants. I feel the same way.

Mom’s Insanity

Thanks to the encouragement, urging and well down right nagging of my husband I have now started a blog. As a teenager I kept really long journals to help vent and articulate my thoughts. Ten years ago I burned my journals realizing that my children never needed to read about my enormous learning mistakes, nor did I care to remember what an idiot teen I was. With the first three or four kids I received baby journals and had every intention of using them, but life happened and they have very few entries in them. Perhaps one day my blog entries can be like children journals for some of the events in their lives. 

I will not be posting enlightening or even entertaining blogs. Here you will find the rantings of a lunitic mother of seven who has not slept in ten years. Sleep depervasion seriously affects judgement, personality and basic logic.  I routinely lose track of days and on occasion whole weeks. For example while talking with my daughter and a friend about a tubbing trip down the river a few days earlier, I corrected my daughter saying it was last week. My darling husband then corrected me and I started to argue that I was certain I was right, when he pointed to his finger and reminded me he had lost his ring that day and could prove it with a blog entry date. Yikes, did I feel silly. How did three days turn into a week?  Days are not the only things misplaced around here. This week (could have been today or a month ago) I yelled at my son about not being able to find his phonics book. I made him look and relook in the usual dumping spots at least three times. While he searched I loudly lectured to all children who could hear in a ten mile radius what a waste of time it is when we don’t return our school books to the school shelf.  Where did we find the workbook? MY ARMS!!! Yes, right there in the folder where it belonged in the arms holding todays materiels was his workbook. Lots of hugs and I am sooooo sorries were dispensed. It is now safe to assume he will never believe another thing I try to teach him… Lets also not forget finding the fuses for the van in the meat drawer in the fridge or my keys behind the computer, in the laundry room, behind the dresser. Now you might be thinking with seven kids items always get misplaced, unfortunetely the kids are not to blame, it is I, “insane mom” a.k.a. “meanest mom in the whole wide world”.